In the 70s of the last century a psychologist at Columbia University conducted a series of experiments with children who have given unexpected results. This psychologist has worked with pupils of fifth grade to see how they dealt with new and complicated material.
It was then when she realized that girls were more likely to abandon the task, and they did, on average, before the males. Interestingly, while girls were more brilliant the higher was their IQ and faster they threw in the towel. These girls showed a learned helplessness model.
Bright little boys behaved differently. They took on the task as an intellectual challenge that filled them with energy and motivated them to redouble their efforts.
What happened? Why girls are more vulnerable and less secure than boys of the same age?
In fact, most of the girls exceed the males in all fields, including mathematics. Therefore, the difference in their behavior has nothing to do with a lack of skill or knowledge but rather with how to address the challenges.
While males assumed they could not solve the problems because these were more complicated, the girls quickly began to doubt their ability, lost confidence in themselves and abandoned the task. These girls were also used to think that the skills were immutable, while males supposed that could be developed through effort.
The worst thing is that these beliefs and ways of behaving are maintained in adulthood. In fact, it was noted that average men show up to a job interview with only 60% of the required capabilities. On the contrary, women find the courage to apply for the jobs only if they have 100% of the requirements.
How can we have an attitude so different to the challenges ahead? The answer is in education, an education that taught the children to be brave and face the challenges and girls to be perfect and act cautiously.
Brave boys, perfect girls ...
It is difficult, even impossible, to erase centuries of tradition in one shot. Although we made progress in gender equality, in the collective unconscious and in the depths of our minds are still many rooted sexist ideas.
Therefore, parents continue to educate the little boys not to be afraid and cry, while girls are educated not to show up sloppy, to be always perfect and behave with moderation.
We still educate boys, that with good luck, will become knights that will save damsels in distress. And we educate girls waiting to be saved, because their mission is not to fight, but remain perfect, despite the storm.
Girls are taught to smile, they are required to get good grades and not allowed to return home covered with mud, after playing. Parents tend to be more permissive with boys, allowing them to play outdoors, get dirty and climb trees. In fact, many of these behaviors are rewarded because they show how brave they are. In this way the males are encouraged to take risks.
In contrast, girls are encouraged to stay away from risk, they are asked to remain in the background, safe and within their comfort zone. Often they are praised for how well they behave, almost always because they remain silent, and for their sympathy. So, inadvertently, parents restrict the potential of the girls, which soon learn that from them it is not expected the same behavior than males.
Thus, the majority of girls end up becoming women which are assuming only the essential risks and that in front of problems found that something does not work with them. For this reason it is not surprising that women suffer more often and more intensely of depression and anxiety than men.
However, when we teach girls to be brave and to form around them a support network to motívate them, they will do amazing things because they have a huge potential. The best gift we can give to any child is to simply let it be.
Sources:
Dweck, C. S. et. Al. (1978) Sex differences in learned helplessness: II. The contingencies of evaluative feedback in the classroom and IH. An experimental analysis. Developmental Psychology, 14: 268-276.
Dweck, C. S. & Bush, E. (1976) Sex differences in learned helplessness: I. Differential debilitation with peer and adult evaluators. Developmental Psychology; 12: 147-156.
Dweck, C. S. (1975) The role of expectations and attributions in the alleviation of learned helplessness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; 31: 674-685.
It was then when she realized that girls were more likely to abandon the task, and they did, on average, before the males. Interestingly, while girls were more brilliant the higher was their IQ and faster they threw in the towel. These girls showed a learned helplessness model.
Bright little boys behaved differently. They took on the task as an intellectual challenge that filled them with energy and motivated them to redouble their efforts.
What happened? Why girls are more vulnerable and less secure than boys of the same age?
In fact, most of the girls exceed the males in all fields, including mathematics. Therefore, the difference in their behavior has nothing to do with a lack of skill or knowledge but rather with how to address the challenges.
While males assumed they could not solve the problems because these were more complicated, the girls quickly began to doubt their ability, lost confidence in themselves and abandoned the task. These girls were also used to think that the skills were immutable, while males supposed that could be developed through effort.
The worst thing is that these beliefs and ways of behaving are maintained in adulthood. In fact, it was noted that average men show up to a job interview with only 60% of the required capabilities. On the contrary, women find the courage to apply for the jobs only if they have 100% of the requirements.
How can we have an attitude so different to the challenges ahead? The answer is in education, an education that taught the children to be brave and face the challenges and girls to be perfect and act cautiously.
Brave boys, perfect girls ...
It is difficult, even impossible, to erase centuries of tradition in one shot. Although we made progress in gender equality, in the collective unconscious and in the depths of our minds are still many rooted sexist ideas.
Therefore, parents continue to educate the little boys not to be afraid and cry, while girls are educated not to show up sloppy, to be always perfect and behave with moderation.
We still educate boys, that with good luck, will become knights that will save damsels in distress. And we educate girls waiting to be saved, because their mission is not to fight, but remain perfect, despite the storm.
Girls are taught to smile, they are required to get good grades and not allowed to return home covered with mud, after playing. Parents tend to be more permissive with boys, allowing them to play outdoors, get dirty and climb trees. In fact, many of these behaviors are rewarded because they show how brave they are. In this way the males are encouraged to take risks.
In contrast, girls are encouraged to stay away from risk, they are asked to remain in the background, safe and within their comfort zone. Often they are praised for how well they behave, almost always because they remain silent, and for their sympathy. So, inadvertently, parents restrict the potential of the girls, which soon learn that from them it is not expected the same behavior than males.
Thus, the majority of girls end up becoming women which are assuming only the essential risks and that in front of problems found that something does not work with them. For this reason it is not surprising that women suffer more often and more intensely of depression and anxiety than men.
However, when we teach girls to be brave and to form around them a support network to motívate them, they will do amazing things because they have a huge potential. The best gift we can give to any child is to simply let it be.
Sources:
Dweck, C. S. et. Al. (1978) Sex differences in learned helplessness: II. The contingencies of evaluative feedback in the classroom and IH. An experimental analysis. Developmental Psychology, 14: 268-276.
Dweck, C. S. & Bush, E. (1976) Sex differences in learned helplessness: I. Differential debilitation with peer and adult evaluators. Developmental Psychology; 12: 147-156.
Dweck, C. S. (1975) The role of expectations and attributions in the alleviation of learned helplessness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; 31: 674-685.
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